Interview with Jalpa H Vithalani โ Serial Entrepreneur, Creative Head and Director at Cosmic Heart Gallery
Jalpa H Vithalani
Hi Jalpa, thank you for joining me. You are such an entrepreneur! Apart from being the Creative Head and Director at Cosmic Heart Gallery you also are the Director of numerous other institutions and a Reconnective Healing Practitioner. Tell us about which path has been your true calling and one that has touched you the most?
Right from being a farmer, to Reconnective Healing, journey with travel and logistics, art and curationโฆ this is essentially a part of who I am and has been an integral part of my evolution. So itโs all inter-related and dynamic. The common thread is bringing in creativity and my own uniqueness to whatever I do. Also I am a peopleโs person whether you put me in the city or in a village. I like to involve and engage with others. It comes naturally.
You somehow manage doing so many things efficiently! Tell us what your source of inspiration is?
I think I am simply flowing like a river on the paths as they unfold. While I am good at multi-tasking, I think I hibernate and consolidate as much as I engage in action and implementation. I do whatever I am passionate about, touches me and makes me happy. That is inspiration enough. Life itself is about an expression. I believe that life as you see it, awakens you to the artist inside you in whatever you do and once that happens, you want to contribute back. This is what has motivated my work.
There must have been hard times or delays on some projects. What was your most difficult experience and how did you manage to overcome/succeed in the end?
I had a dream that I must open this gallery. I was given complete directionโฆ..and it was totally out of my comfort zone. I was a floriculture entrepreneur exporting roses around the world, we were representing the Finnish Tourist Board and I loved that part of my work and was also so busy with Reconnective Healings. I am an artist myself. I came across many artists who had no idea of my dream, who started asking me to launch themโฆThe incubation process for the gallery took a yearโฆ I ignored this idea for a long timeโฆbut the gallery had to manifest. Itโs a gift of the universe. We have had over 130 successful events related to art, culture and music in a short span of seven years.
Motherโs symbol by Thakker P
Being the Creative Head and Director at Cosmic Heart Gallery, how difficult is it for you to curate or choose from various artists that you would want to exhibit in the gallery? What is the deciding factor or the key-element that helps you choose?
The key deciding factor is it must be beautiful and appeal to me aesthetically. It must be something I would put up at home. The selection or choosing process is instant. Curation, creating a story around it and a meaningful one at that, comes naturally after the connect is made.
Your Gallery showcases many prominent artists and collections. Which collection/showcase do you think stood out amongst the rest and managed to touch audiences in a more spiritual way?
Each show that I have curated is unique in its own way. However if you ask me about touching the audiences in a more spiritual way, what comes to mind is Natasha Lallaโs work and the latest ongoing exhibition Kensho ~ Seeing into oneโs true nature by Sarfaraz Laskari.
Kensho is a Zen collection of lyrically abstracted Buddhaโs and stunning representations of nature. This serene series take you to a place of silence, peace & joy. Through these paintings we are inviting you to have a pure, direct experience, where the inner and outer worlds rhyme.
Kaveh Afraie โ Bird of Bismillah
The exhibition showcases a โShikantazaโ series which literally means to sit and depicts a practice of Zen Buddhism that involves understanding emptiness. When we reflect that there is another world beyond our limited experience, we can empty ourselves of preconceived ideas and accept things as they are.
The beautiful Lotus series, Pipala series, the Fig tree under which Buddha achieved enlightenment, Rushen series ~ denoting & depicting clarity, a Nature series also form part of this unique exhibition. The artistโs philosophies are influenced by spiritualists like Eckhart Tolle, Rupert Spira, Mooji & Allan Watts. Sarfarazโs artistic freedom showcases Buddhist perception โ everything is alive and influences everything else revealing bio- spirituality.
Shailan Parker โ Luminescence
We have presented a prized creation of Sarfaraz Laskari to His Holiness, The Dalai Lama in Mumbai and were blessed beautifully.
Painting for over two decades, Natasha Lalla has developed a distinct style of her own, which involves painting with her fingers. She is a one of the million artists who has never owned a paintbrush. Natasha unleashes a host of creative and universal energies. Abstraction in acrylic is what she derives in her paintings which to a lame-eye can be summed up as exuberant harvests of blending colours and finger strokes. One could say that Natashaโs art style is something on the lines of the famed artist Rassoulli whose work has been quoted as โthe art that dancesโฆ without dancersโ.
Jalpa with Artist Natasha Lalla
Natashaโs art helps one journey into parallel realities and experience a larger, more colorful take on life! In the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson โ โThe health of the eye seems to demand a horizon. We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough.โ
Natashaโs use of colours and her unique style of painting is unmatched. She has a deep understanding of how colours impact oneโs overall sense of well-being. Painting in free form, stream of consciousness is a form of artistic meditation. Natasha has a unique way of reflecting her spiritual and sublime experiences by expressing images from her subconscious onto canvas by swirling finger strokes.
Natasha Lalla โ Parallel Realities VII
The artist has been sharing her unique gift of helping people discover their souls through her paintings. She started her journey with Cosmic Heart Gallery and we have sold hundreds of her paintings around the world.
Cosmic Heart Gallery from India was one of the 16 international galleries invited to showcase their work at Art Bahrain Across Borders 2019 which was held under The Patronage of Her Royal Highness, Princess Sabeeka Bint Ibrahim Al Khalifa, Wife of His Majesty the King of Bahrain, President of the Supreme Council for Women. Natashaโs work was widely appreciated and is with the Royal families in Bahrain.
Where does your love of โArtโ stem from?
I have loved art since childhood. My earliest memories is attending art class at Uma Mallikโs home as a 5 year old. I loved sketching, creating and could sit endlessly for hours with pen and ink.
Gerardo Korn โ Barrio Retiro
Can you tell us more about BPW International. What does your involvement and work entail?
BPW (Business and Professional Women) International is the largest organization in the world for Business and Professional Women in more than 100 countries, empowering and promoting women.
Representing India at the 29th BPW International Congress in Cairo, Egypt.
I represented India at 29th BPW International Congress in Cairo in 2018 and was invited to speak about Art & Reconnective Healing. I was subsequently appointed as the President of BPW Mumbai. I represented India at The United Nations Headquarters in New York at CSW62 session on the Commission on Status of Women.
Representing India at the United Nations Headquarters in New York at the CSW62 Summit on Commission of status of Women.
What is exciting that I am a member of International Task Force of Arts for Peace and Intercultural Understanding. The vision is to create a worldwide committee and pass subliminal messages through art and give a platform to talent.
Along with Dr. Amany Asfour, President of BPW International and Ms. Susan Jones, Vice President of BPW International we launched the cultural and environmental project of BPW South Mumbai, at the sacred river Narmada in Jabalpur during SWEEP 2019. We recorded a special โaartiโ with talented artist Josh Crooner and launched a special initiative to keep the river pollution free. This supports Sustainable Development Goals of UN.
Jalpa, there are only a handful of people practicing โReconnective Healingโ in India and you have been instrumental in spreading its awareness. Could you educate us some more on this kind of healing and its eventual benefits?
My sister Toral and myself were among first few Reconnective Healing practitioners in India and I must say has been a very fulfilling journey. Reconnective Healingยฎ is quite simply a gateway to accelerated life progress โ whether you are looking to affect change in your own life, experience yourself in a new light or to live with inspiring health and balance.
Reconnective Healingยฎ is founded by Dr Eric Pearl and is internationally recognised as a comprehensive approach to energy Healthcare. Its benefits are measurable, effecting positive physical, mental, emotional and spiritual change.
Re-connective Healing
Reconnective Healing is strongly supported by the latest theories on nuclear and quantum physics. In a published study by Gary Schwartz, Ph.D., Lab Director of Advances in Consciousness and Health at the University of Arizona, the longevity of different groups of leaves taken from the same tree was tested. The control set was left to die naturally and perished between 3-12 days. When Reconnective Healing was applied to the fourth set, the healing began quickly, some leaves regenerating roots, and the leavesโ lifespans lasted up to 90 days โ longer than those treated with Reiki and Qi Gong.
Stanford Professor Emeritus, Dr. William Tiller, says that when information carried through The Reconnective Healing frequencies is introduced, it creates coherence and order. In other words, greater harmony and balance within us.
How has โReconnective Healingโ impacted your life on a more personal level?
My own life transformed 180 degrees, ever since I had my Reconnective Healing & The Reconnection done in September 2010. I experienced shifts at every level โ mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, financialโฆ
My gallery birthed in a dream after I had my Reconnection done and I was given complete direction on the name Cosmic Heart Gallery, the space, the logo and much more. It is truly a gift of universe and we have curated over 130 successful events related to art, cultural and music in a short span of 7 years.
It is a three way process and the practitioner is also in receiving mode. The more healings I do, I find that the more life is opening for me.
Jalpa, you also are the State Director of the NGO โ Humans For Humanity. What they do is absolutely life-changing. Please share with us some inspiring stories from your experiences here? One of the projects headed under โHumans for Humanityโ is WASH! I found this particularly interesting and empowering. Tell us something more about it and how it has positively changed mindsets?
Humans For Humanity is an NGO headquartered in Delhi, which was founded in 2014 by Anurag Chauhan. The organization also works on the following projects, Street Smart, Each One Teach One, Clean India Campaign and Promotion of Indian Culture and Heritage.
What we have launched in big way in Maharashtra is WASH โ Women Sanitation & Hygiene. There is still a huge population of women in India who die due to poor menstrual hygiene. Every year in India, it is estimated that about 240,000 women die from extremely poor personal hygiene practices.
Workshops are held with young girls to make them aware about Menstruation โ biological reasons of menstruation, hormonal changes, nutrition, natural remedies, taboos, looking after and loving themselves. These workshops are conducted not just in urban slums but also in villages, tribal areas, cities and every possible venue to reach out to the women.
We distribute free sanitary napkins during the workshops. We are producing eco friendly cloth kits in different parts of the country even during this lockdown period, which can be used for over 2 years. These are produced by women and provides them a livelihood.
The biggest invention after WORLD WAR II was Sanitary Napkins for women. It was the biggest step in empowering women around the world.
Itโs been an incredible and fulfilling journey to take in the WASH project all around Maharashtra. I started with the first workshop in Nasik at the Priyanka Technical Institute and trained hundred โAnganwadiโ, workers who are each in charge of one village. They in turn raised awareness to at least 100 women in each village. So it is like a domino effect.
I started walking into slums in Nasik and those days covered 600 ladies in three days. It went viral and I started receiving calls and started getting invited. I was amazed that one of the venues chosen by the ladies was actually a Hanuman temple. When I reached I found a group of over 200 ladies along with their children waiting enthusiastically for me. Obviously at least some of them might have been menstruating; that itself was breaking the taboo. Since then I think we have conducted workshops in several temples, organically so. It is a common meeting ground for many.
We always engage the older ladies as well, as they can support the younger generation to make shifts and break away from taboos. Itโs also important to sensitive the men and often they have been part of the workshops. Our Founder Anurag is an incredible young man too. We have covered over 10,000 women in Maharashtra so far in a short span of time.
And then thereโs โGlobal Agritechโ. What sets it apart from other Agri-firms in this domain? How has your vision been incorporated here?
What sets us apart โ the professionalism and commitment with which we work. As a Group we have been into Aviation & Logistics since the last 45 years and engaged with several international partners. When I set up Global Agritech from ground up it was a backward integration process; since we were already shipping perishable produce. What set us apart from other floriculture firms is that we could not only grow a quality product; but package it excellently and ship it on time.
Global Agritech (I) Pvt. Ltd. is one of the pioneers in rose cultivation in India. I am the Vice President of Western India Floriculture Association. Global Agritech represents one of the world renown Dutch breeders Schreurs in India. Breeders are ones who genetically engineer new varieties of roses. We test their products in Indian climatic conditions and market them to other companies.
80% of the employees are women and that is fulfilling indeed. We provide quality employment to rural youth. Their families believe it is respectable to work on a rose farm. They are also good with handling of flowers. Our strength also lies in training โ the women love their work & environment (imagine being at a rose farm day in and day out), we love the family bonds and relationships created, so itโs a win-win situation for all.
Farmer in the field
I was fairly young when I appointed on APEX body of APEDA โ Agricultural & Processed Food Products Export Development Authority by Shri. Kamal Nath โ who was then Minister of Commerce & Industry, Government of India. We used to be only two women in the boardroom of 70 men.
Global Agritech represented one of the largest Auction Houses in Europe, Flora Holland in India and was training other floriculture units to package and export their produce. This is the only time in history that they have appointed someone in India to represent them.
I am a โkisanโ (farmer) at heart. So the love for the soil and bringing a professional and humane approach on how we run the project is what made the difference.
Truly amazing work you do! This also means that your daily schedule must be very hectic. How do you manage to maintain your calm through it all? How do you create balance in your professional and personal life?
Yes the daily schedule is rather hectic. Multi-tasking is something I am doing constantly. But then I hibernate as much as I do things. This helps me assimilate life, just be and do nothing at times. With this I regain my sense of purpose. Balancing happens naturally and yet is an ongoing process, as eventually everything is about nothingโฆand it is important to be and enjoy that space nothingness on this journey called life.
And remember it is in the stillness that you can createโฆso even when I am curating a show, writing something it just flows seamlessly in the quietest moments. These things are spontaneous and cannot be forced.
You also work closely with the Dalai-Lamaโฆsuch an incredible honor! Tell us your journey getting there and what has impacted you the most about meeting/speaking with him?
These are lifeโs biggest blessings, thanks to the gallery. His Holiness has always blessed the path of Cosmic Heart Galleryโฆthe most beautiful time with Him has been at His Palace in Dharamshala where I was invited for an International Youth Peace Summit by United States Institute of Peace. We were a nice intimate group of 40-50 young leaders engaged in the work. For me it has been spreading love & peace through art.
My parents were also granted a personal audience and His Holiness presented a Buddha from His own altar to my father. These are the priceless timeless treasures. His compassion and sense of humour touched me the most. I realized later I was childlike around Him; just soaking in the frequencies.
โHealing through Creativityโโฆ.What are your thoughts on it?
Everyone is creative by virtue of their existence. It is the galleryโs journey to touch the innate sense of creativity of every person whose path we cross. When we engage in anything creative, we heal at subliminal levels and in powerful ways.
What can we expect to look forward to from you in the near future?
You can expect lots of beautiful art to adorn your homes, events related to music, taking Reconnective Healing around the world and social work.
What advice would you like to give young women who look up to you and everything that you have achieved in your life?
โLove yourself. Live each moment. Do what makes you happy. Life is truly about being happy and well.โ
Jalpa H Vithalani
It is so important to nourish ourselves and not wait for something or someone outside to do that.
And remember success does not always entail us to be on the move. Sometimes we need to sit back and sip the moments like a cup of tea.
How can our readers contact you or find out more about your future projects?
Let me take you on a journey through the sands of time into ancient Greek mythology.
What do you think of when you hear the names of “Hebe” and “Heracles”?
Let me introduce you to both of these gods/giants because soon after I will bring them into our reality…
Intriguing? Yes it is…so read on!
Who is “Hebe”?
Hebe was Greek the goddess of youth, daughter of Zeus and Hera. She served nectar and ambrosia to the Olympians and later married Heracles, with whom she had two children, Alexiares and Anicetus. Her name comes from the Greek word for youth, and it was believed that she had the ability to restore youth.
There were several versions of the tale of how she was born. In one version of her story, she was the legitimate child of Zeus, the king of the gods, and Hera, the queen of the gods. In another version of her story, her mother, Hera, simply became pregnant with her while she was eating some lettuce leaves while she was having dinner with Apollo, a fellow Olympian. As she grew older, she became the โCupbearer of the Godsโ, which essentially means that she was responsible for serving the gods and goddesses of Mount Olympus their drinks, particularly the nectar that they so loved. She also assisted Hera with various tasks, such as helping her onto her chariot.
Who is “Heracles”?
Heracles is known to be one of the most celebrated heroes in Ancient Greek mythology. He was the son of Zeus and his mortal lover, Alcmene. Hera, Zeusโs wife, became jealous and seemed to have taken it out on Heracles. Despite that, Heracles thrived. One of his most famous tales is how he completed the Twelve Labors, but he was also associated with other stories. Another being the tale of how he got together with his wife, Hebe!
Heracles strangling snakes (detail from an Attic red-figured stamnos, c. 480โ470 BCE)
Heracles was renowned for his extraordinary strength, courage, ingenuity, among other things. Together with Hermes, he was the patron and protector of Gymnasia and Palaestrae
Heracles Becomes Immortal
Because Heracles had a mortal mother, he was considered a demigod. He did have certain powers and was particularly known for his strength. He was granted immortality at a special ceremony on Mount Olympus. However, there are conflicting accounts as to how he earned this immortality in the first place. Some indicated that he earned it through his heroic deeds and other accounts track it to a specific incident. Either way, the stories do agree that he was given immortality later on in life and that Hera, his longtime nemesis, wasnโt pleased.
The marriage of Heracles and Hebe by Louis Cheron on artnet
Hebe and Heracles Get Married
Accounts of Heracles and Hebe show that the pair got married after he was given immortality. This marriage further displeased Hera because it took her daughter, Hebe, away from Mount Olympus and into the arms of a man that she detested. Not only that, but Hebe did a lot to assist Hera and because Hebe wasnโt around, she could no longer be there for Hera. To make matters worse for Hera, when Heracles and Hebe were married, Heracles was given the gift of eternal youth, which further sparked Heraโs contempt.
Despite the fact that Hera wasnโt pleased when the pair got together, Hebe and Heracles had a great marriage and the two had children together. Once Hebe left Mount Olympus, Zeus found someone else, the beautiful youth Gandymede, to be the Cupbearer of the Gods. Hebe went from being treated like a servant on Mount Olympus to being in a happy marriage with one of the greatest heroes of Greek mythology.
…
Keeping it real!
Now that you know a bit more about these two great giants, allow me to introduce another two giants based off of them. After researching, I have put together some crystals that would aid in the process of anti-aging and protection. 2 bracelets with 2 distinct functionalities!
Intoducing “HEBE Chris-Tal Youth Bracelet” and “Heracles Chris-Tal Protection Bracelet”
HEBE Chris-Tal Youth Bracelet:
Consisting of 8 anti-aging healing crystals – Amethyst, Aquamarine, Citrine, Clear quartz, Labradorite, Mookaite, Rose Quartz and Black Tourmaline
HERACLES Chris-Tal Protection Bracelet:
Consisting of 8 protection healing crystals – Black Tourmaline, Labradorite, Lava Stone, Black Onyx, Hematite, Obsidian, Amazonite, Smoky Quartz
Amethyst โ Helps to provide physical, emotional, and mental equilibrium. Good for balancing hormones, immune system, and nervous system and reducing stress. It also flushes out toxins that contribute to aging. A higher chakra crystal, Amethyst is a Third Eye and Crown Chakra gemstone that naturally ejects stress hormones from the body. It enhances Health, Beauty and Clarity. Amethyst is a natural tranquiliser, it relieves stress and strain, soothes irritability, balances mood swings, dispels anger, rage, fear and anxiety. Alleviates sadness and grief, and dissolves negativity. Amethyst activates spiritual awareness, opens intuition and enhances psychic abilities.
Citrine โ Assists in bringing about joy, happiness, and abundance. Good for the digestive system, tissue regeneration, and heart health. It energises every area of life, improves your motivation and encourages self-expression. Invigorates and encourages rejuvenation and wellbeing.
Aquamarine โ Has calming energies that quiet the mind and reduce stress. It protects against pollutants. It soothes your fears and encourages taking responsibility for your-self as well as breaking old worn self-defeating programs. Also known as the Stone of Mermaids due to its effect of retaining youthfulness. A gorgeous gemstone that also helps the wearer dispel stress by clearing frustrations, Aquamarine is also a protective stone. It activates the higher heart and throat chakra when programmed as a gem elixir.
Clear Quartz โ Helps with your quality of life, by regulating energy and mental focus. A purification stone that is said in some quarters to be the ultimate crystal for reversing aging and retaining the fountain of youth. It also helps clear the free radicals, dead cells in the skin and negative energy. Good for heart health.
Mookaite โ Can help you to change your beliefs about the inevitability of aging and degeneration. It helps you to feel younger by raising your vibrations and changing your attitude to life and thoughts about aging.
Labradorite โ A powerful anti-aging crystal that not only slows aging, but also increases the production of youthful hormones such as Elastin and Collagen. It is also a useful companion throughout the aging process, imparting strength and perseverance. Labradorite is one such gemstone that also puts you in a trance-like-state to dispel your distresses. When used to program the base chakra, labradorite also activates the Third Eye Chakra.
Rose Quartz – Yet another heart chakra stone that increases blood circulation, Rose Quartz is a quintessential beauty stone. When used on the mid-chakras, Rose Quartz also increases self-love and breaks distress hormones in the body. It enhances Love, Harmony and Positivity. Rose Quartz is the stone of universal love. It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love. Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace.
Black Tourmaline – An excellent gemstone that breaks the toxins that clog your facial and skin pores, black tourmaline harmonizes and balances multiple chakras of the human body. Using gem elixirs, black tourmaline also ensures psychic protection that keeps the wearer protected from pigmentation-related aging processes. It cleanses, purifies and forms a protective shield around the body and dispels negative energy. It also protects against EMFโS, a natural stress aid. It banishes feelings of being a victim, attracts inspiration, compassion and prosperity. It is known to protect against cell phones, and strengthen the immune system. Black Tourmaline also guards against environmental pollutants.
Black Tourmaline โ Cleanses, purifies and forms a protective shield around the body and dispels negative energy. It also protects against EMFโS, a natural stress aid. It banishes feelings of being a victim, attracts inspiration, compassion and prosperity. It is known to protect against cell phones, and strengthen the immune system. Black Tourmaline also guards against environmental pollutants.
Obsidian โ Obsidian is truth-enhancing. A strongly protective stone, it forms a shield against negativity. It blocks psychic attack and absorbs negative energies from the environment. Obsidian draws out mental stress and tension.
Labradorite โ Enhances serenity, clarity, imagination. A stone of transformation, Labradorite is a useful companion through change, imparting strength and perseverance. It balances and protects the aura, raises consciousness and grounds spiritual energies. Excellent for strengthening intuition โ promoting psychic abilities.
Lava Stone โ Enhances strength, passion, Creation. Lava Stone is a grounding stone that strengthens oneโs connection to Mother Earth. It gives us strength and courage, allowing us stability through times of change. It provides guidance and understanding in situations where we may need to โbounce backโ. A calming stone, it is very useful in dissipating anger.
Onyx โ Enhances objectiveness, spirituality, meditation. Onyx gives strength. It promotes vigor, steadfastness and stamina. Imparts self-confidence, helping you to be at ease in your surroundings. Onyx banishes grief, enhances self-control and stimulates the power of wise decision-making.
Hematite โ Enhances optimism, courage, stability. Hematite helps to absorb negative energy and calms in times of stress or worry. Hematite is a very protective stone and is great to carry to help you stay grounded in many situations. Hematite is also good for working with the Root Chakra, helping to transform negative energies into a more positive vibration.
Amazonite โ is a soothing stone, calming the brain and nervous system and aids in maintaining optimum health. It also balances the masculine and feminine energies. It soothes emotional trauma, alleviating worry and fear. Dispels negative energy, aggravation and blockages within the nervous system. Amazonite assists in manifesting universal love. Amazonite, blocks geopathic stress, absorbs microwaves and cell phone emanations, and protects against electromagnetic pollution. Amazonite is beneficial in osteoporosis, tooth decay, calcium deficiency and calcium deposits. It relieves muscle spasms.
Smoky Quartz – Enhances Endurance, Pride, Perception. It gently neutralises negative vibrations and is detoxifying on all levels, prompting elimination of the digestive system and protecting against radiation and electromagnetic smog.ย Smokey Quartzย disperses fear, lifts depression and negativity. It brings emotional calmness, relieving stress and anxiety.ย
Disclaimer: The outlined metaphysical and healing properties in this website are for inspiration and reference. I gather this information and alleged properties from writings, books, folklore and various other sources. They are also dependent upon the attitude and beliefs of the individual. Furthermore they do not replace diagnosis or treatment by a qualified therapist or physician.
Crystal Healing is a pseudoscience, used to treat and heal people and their energy system, by placing the crystals on and around the body. The philosophy of modern crystal healing is based on traditional concepts borrowed from Asian cultures, most notably the Chinese concept of life-energy (chi or qi) and the Hindu or Buddhist concept of chakras, which are vortices of this life-energy, said to connect the physical and supernatural elements of the body.
There are many different types of crystals which are used for different reasons. The crystals can act as a channel for healing which can help positive and healing energy flow into the body, causing negative energy to be drawn out. They are known to have been used for prevention of disease and curing of illnesses. Some medical doctors tolerate crystal healing to a limited degree, seeing it as a therapy that can induce relaxation, which ultimately is therapeutic for stress management.
Jewelry is another great way to incorporate a crystalโs abilities. Not to mention, it also allows you to show off each stoneโs beauty. Take for example โdiamondโ. We all know that a diamond is a symbol of purity and innocence, of love and fidelity, and embraces strength of character, ethics, and faithfulness to oneself and others. But did you also know that the diamond stone helps with commitment, love and spirituality?
I have compiled a list of some gemstones and the qualities they help with. Wearing a healing crystal is sometimes not enough. What matters more is that it should be accompanied with good faith and intention in your thoughts!
That said, take a look at some healing crystals and their advantages:
Agate
Wisdom, Confidence, Prosperity
It cleanses and stabilizes the aura, eliminating and transforming negativity. Agate enhances mental function, improving concentration, perception and analytical abilities. It soothes and calms, healing inner anger or tension and creates a sense of security and safety.
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Amazonite
Amazonite is a soothing stone, calming the brain and nervous system and aids in maintaining optimum health. It also balances the masculine and feminine energies. It soothes emotional trauma, alleviating worry and fear. Dispels negative energy, aggravation and blockages within the nervous system. Amazonite assists in manifesting universal love. Amazonite, blocks geopathic stress, absorbs microwaves and cell phone emanations, and protects against electromagnetic pollution.
Amazonite is beneficial in osteoporosis, tooth decay, calcium deficiency and calcium deposits. It relieves muscle spasms.
——–
Lavender Amethyst
Creativity, Ambition, Passion
Lavender Amethyst promotes peace, flushes out toxins that contribute to aging (anti-aging), eases stress, heightens awareness, and relieves physical and emotional pain. It inspires wisdom through dreams and intuition, and instills a sense of luxury from self knowledge and spiritual insight.
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Amethyst
Health, Beauty, Clarity
Amethyst is a natural tranquilizer, it relieves stress and strain, soothes irritability, balances mood swings, dispels anger, rage, fear and anxiety. Alleviates sadness and grief, and dissolves negativity. Amethyst activates spiritual awareness, opens intuition and enhances psychic abilities.
Helps to provide physical, emotional, and mental equilibrium. Good for balancing hormones, immune system, and nervous system and reducing stress. It also flushes out toxins that contribute to aging. A higher chakra crystal, Amethyst is a Third Eye and Crown Chakra gemstone that naturally ejects stress hormones from the body.
——–
Aquamarine
Courage, Balance, Peace
Aquamarine is a stone of courage. Its calming energies reduce stress and quiet the mind. Aquamarine has an affinity with sensitive people. It can invoke tolerance of others and overcomes judgmentalism, giving support to those overwhelmed by responsibility. It protects against pollutants. It soothes your fears and encourages taking responsibility for your-self as well as breaking old worn self-defeating programs. Also known as the Stone of Mermaids due to its effect of retaining youthfulness.
A gorgeous gemstone that also helps the wearer dispel stress by clearing frustrations, Aquamarine is also a protective stone. It activates the higher heart and throat chakra when programmed as a gem elixir.
——–
Aventurine
Serenity, Wisdom, Power
Aventurine benefits the thymus gland and nervous system. It balances blood pressure and stimulates the metabolism, lowering cholesterol. Aventurine has an anti-inflammatory effect and eases skin eruptions, allergies, migraines, and soothes the eyes. It heals lungs, sinuses, heart, muscular and urogenital systems.
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Bali Turquoise
Heaven & Earth, Kindness, Protection
Bali Turquoise combines energies of Heaven and Earth. It is a healer of the spirit that includes wisdom, trust, and kindness. This stone gives one strength, protection from harm, psychic sensitivity and connection to the spirit world.
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Black Diamond
Antidepressant, Intuition, Self-esteem
In particular, they help to make the wearer invincible to evil forces. Used in crystal healing, black diamonds also help to amplify the effects of other stones. However, the most important effect on wellness that diamonds have is their enduring ability to be a symbol of love.
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Black Jade
Protection, Transformation, Defense
Black Jade stone has a powerful healing energy. Black color remains black. Because of its properties, Black Jade has been said to remain strong against external stimulus. The gemstone helps you not to be influenced by energies of your surroundings and to be mentally stable.
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Black Jasper
Black Jasper is also known as โBlackstoneโ. Black Jasper is a highly protective stone that is excellent for grounding the energies of people who may experience being off with the fairies. … In physical healing Black Jasper is useful at relieving pain, stomach ailments and problems with the feet.
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Black Tourmaline
An excellent gemstone that breaks the toxins that clog your facial and skin pores, black tourmaline harmonizes and balances multiple chakras of the human body.
Using gem elixirs, black tourmaline also ensures psychic protection that keeps the wearer protected from pigmentation-related aging processes.
It cleanses, purifies and forms a protective shield around the body and dispels negative energy. It also protects against EMFโS, a natural stress aid. It banishes feelings of being a victim, attracts inspiration, compassion and prosperity. It is known to protect against cell phones, and strengthen the immune system. Black Tourmaline also guards against environmental pollutants.
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Bloodstone
It is an excellent blood cleanser and a powerful healing stone. It heightens intuition and increases creativity. It is grounding and protecting. Bloodstone draws off negative environmental energy, helping to overcome influences such as geopathic or electromagnetic stress
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Blue Lace Agate
Health, Serenity, Balance
Blue Lace Agate is a great nurturing and supportive stone, neutralizing anger, infection, inflammation and fever. Blue Lace Agate helps to strengthen and accelerate the repair of bones, thyroid deficiencies, throat and lymph infections.
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Blue Sandstone
Blue Goldstone (also called Blue Sandstone), is a stone of victory. It heightens wisdom, courage, and physical energy. Blue Goldstone deflects negative energy and encourages motivation and drive. This stone increases confidence and willpower, it promotes glory and success.
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Blue Lapis
Wisdom, Confidence, Prosperity
Encourages self-awareness, allows self-expression and reveals inner truth, providing qualities of honesty, compassion and morality to the personality. Stimulates objectivity, clarity and encourages creativity. Lapis Lazuli assists to confront and speak one’s truth and inspires confidence.
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Blue Quartz
It alleviates fear and enhances creativity and expression. It has the effect of balancing the throat chakra, it can assist in communication and allow its owner to reach out to others. It is an uplifting stone which can aid to lift depression and restore hope, happiness and peace.
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Blue Tiger Eye
Will Power, Tranquility, Luck
Blue Tiger Eye (also called Hawk’s Eye, Tiger’s Eye, Tigereye) is a very soothing stone as it aids in reducing stress, increasing calm and easing anxiety. Shimmery Blue Tiger Eye can illuminate issues that may have been difficult to see otherwise.
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Botswana Agate
Protection, Composure, Sensuality
It is comforting and protective, soothing to those who are lonely, easily hurt or grieve a loss. Its quiet energy is particularly centering in meditation, and as a fortification Agate, it supports love and the strength to look for solutions rather than dwelling on difficulties.
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Brown Tiger Eye
Insight, Confidence, Balance
A stone of protection, Tiger Eye may also bring good luck to the wearer. It has the power to focus the mind, promoting mental clarity, assisting us to resolve problems objectively and unclouded by emotions. Particularly useful for healing psychosomatic illnesses, dispelling fear and anxiety.
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Brown Agate
It is a comforting and protective stone. Its soothing energy helps people that are lonely, grieving because of a loss, go through difficult times or when they are hurt. The gentle energy of this stone is great for meditation.
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Carnelian
Creativity, Ambition, Passion
A stabilizing stone, Carnelian restores vitality and motivation, and stimulates creativity. It gives courage, promotes positive life choices, dispels apathy and motivates for success. Carnelian is useful for overcoming abuse of any kind.
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Cherry Quartz
Love, Comfort, Peace
Cherry Quartz has all the qualities of quartz and is also great for the heart chakra. Cherry Quartz is great for concentration so is an excellent choice for anyone studying for exams. Healing properties for Cherry Quartz crystal can help with colds, flu and infections and can be of assistance with burns.
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Chrysocolla
It calms, cleanses and re-energises all the chakras. It draws out guilt, heals heartache and increases the capacity to love. Improves communication and opens psychic vision. Encourages self-awareness and inner balance.
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Citrine
Assists in bringing about joy, happiness, and abundance. Good for the digestive system, tissue regeneration, and heart health. It energises every area of life, improves your motivation and encourages self-expression. Invigorates and encourages rejuvenation and wellbeing.
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Clear Quartz
Helps with your quality of life, by regulating energy and mental focus. A purification stone that is said in some quarters to be the ultimate crystal for reversing aging and retaining the fountain of youth. It also helps remove free radicals and negative energy. Good for heart health.
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Diamond
Commitment, Love, Spirituality
Diamond imparts fearlessness, invincibility and fortitude. It clears emotional and mental pain, reducing fear and bringing about new beginnings. Stimulates creativity, inventiveness, imagination and ingenuity. It brings clarity of mind and aids enlightenment.
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Dumortierite
Antidepressant, Intuition, Self-esteem
Dumortierite may be helpful for cellular memory healing, relieving headaches, and those with challenges such as depression, autism, epilepsy and anxiety. Dumortierite may also calm the stomach and intestinal tract relieving nausea, vomiting, cramps, and colic.
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Ebony
Knowledge, Intuition, Defense
Dissolves outworn influences, helpful during times of transformation and change, offers good luck and protection, creates balance, fosters intuition and empowering.
——–
Fire Agate
Is grounding and inspiring, making it an incredible tool for spiritual awakening. It is the stone of the Hero’s Journey, giving us the courage to follow our spiritual path, even into the Dark places we fear, and to emerge triumphantly again into the Light.
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Fossil coral
It is a grounding stone good for bringing about change. Agate is thought to be able to help heal pancreatic disorders and improve blood and air circulation. Fossil coral is used for healing eye, skin and stomach illnesses.
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Garnet
Passion, Creativity, Determination
It revitalizes, purifies and balances energy, bringing serenity or passion as appropriate. Inspires love and devotion. Garnet balances the sex drive and alleviates emotional disharmony. It activates and strengthens the survival instinct, bringing courage and hope.
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Gold
Purity, Integrity, Will Power
When absorbed through the skin, it has a pain-relieving effect. Gold has balancing and harmonizing effect on the body, mind and spirit. It is good for improving our mental attitude and emotional states. Gold can also help promote an increase in energy, will power, and mental focus.
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Gold Sandstone โ Goldstone
It builds energy, courage and a positive attitude. Increases drive and confidence. A gently uplifting stone, Goldstone promotes vitality. Goldstone helps to reduce stomach tension and benefits arthritic conditions.
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Green Agate
It increases compassion, generosity and a keen sense of justice, along with enhancing mental and emotional flexibility, improving decision-making and resolving disputes. It also encourages these traits in others.
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Green Jade
Green Jade is believed to boost the functions of the heart, kidneys, as well as the nervous and immune systems. This stone can also protect the thyroid, thymus, spleen, larynx, liver, and kidneys. Green Jade is recognized as a symbol of virtue and love. It eases the mind and invites harmony and peace.
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Hematite
Optimism, Courage, Stability
Hematite helps to absorb negative energy and calms in times of stress or worry. Hematite is a very protective stone and is great to carry to help you stay grounded in many situations. Hematite is also good for working with the Root Chakra, helping to transform negative energies into a more positive vibration.
Hematite restores, strengthens and regulates the blood supply, aiding blood conditions such as anaemia. It supports the kidneys and regenerates tissue. Stimulates the absorption of iron and formation of red blood cells. Treats leg cramps, anxiety and insomnia. Hematite aids spinal alignment and fractures.
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Howlite
Relaxation, Patience, Memory
Howlite strengthens memory and stimulates desire for knowledge. It teaches patience and helps to eliminate rage, pain and stress. A calming stone, Howlite calms communication, facilitates awareness and encourages emotional expression. Howlite balances calcium levels in the body.
Howlite is a weight loss crystal that connects us with higher consciousness so that we are driven by our intuition and Divine guidance as to what the best course of action is. It calms, reduces stress and negative energy and emotions, especially anger, frustration, and fear. An ideal stone for weight loss because it helps process and balance emotions, bringing an awareness of what is needed to improve, so that we can make better choices that support our weight loss goals.
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Jade
A protective stone, Jade keeps the wearer from harm and brings harmony. Jade attracts good luck and friendship. It stabilizes the personality and promotes self-sufficiency. Soothes the mind, releasing negative thoughts.
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Kambaba Jasper
Kambaba Jasper is also sometimes known as Crocodile Jasper. It has a very calming effect on the mind and promotes inner peace. Kambaba Jasper reduces fear and increases your feelings of confidence and self-worth, bringing inspiration and courage.
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Labradorite
Serenity, Clarity, Imagination
A stone of transformation, Labradorite is a useful companion through change, imparting strength and perseverance. It balances and protects the aura, raises consciousness and grounds spiritual energies. Excellent for strengthening intuition – promoting psychic abilities. It is also a powerful anti-aging crystal that not only slows aging, but also increases the production of youthful hormones such as Elastin and Collagen. It is also a useful companion throughout the aging process, imparting strength and perseverance.
Labradorite is one such gemstone that also puts you in a trance-like-state to dispel your distresses. When used to program the base chakra, labradorite also activates the Third Eye Chakra.
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Lapis Lazuli
A stone of protection that may be worn to guard against psychic attacks, Lapis Lazuli quickly releases stress, bringing deep peace. It brings harmony and deep inner self-knowledge. Encourages self-awareness, allows self-expression and reveals inner truth, providing qualities of honesty, compassion and morality to the personality. Stimulates objectivity, clarity and encourages creativity. Lapis Lazuli assists to confront and speak oneโs truth and inspires confidence. It bonds relationships, aiding in expression of feelings and emotions.
Lapis Lazuli boosts the immune system, purifies blood, lowers blood pressure, cooling and soothing areas of inflammation. It alleviates insomnia and vertigo, and overcomes depression. Lapis Lazuli benefits the respiratory and nervous systems and the throat, vocal cords, and thyroid, cleanses organs, bone marrow and thymus.
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Larimar
Love, Personal Power, Healing
Larimar is said to enlighten and heal in a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual way. It stimulates the heart, throat, third eye and crown chakras facilitating inner wisdom and outer manifestation. It represents peace and clarity, radiating healing and love energy.
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Lava Stone
Strength, Passion, Creation
Lava Stone is a grounding stone that strengthens one’s connection to Mother Earth. It gives us strength and courage, allowing us stability through times of change. It provides guidance and understanding in situations where we may need to “bounce back”. A calming stone, it is very useful in dissipating anger.
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Lepidolite
A favorite crystal for depression because it is a stone of transition, helping us embrace change and transformation so that we can confidently improve our lives. By increasing our awareness, it restructures our old patterns into new ones that serve us better. It supports us in aligning our chakras and growing spiritually. This stone also reduces fear, which helps us adapt and evolve for the better. It can be used to bring us out of depression and into joy. It contains lithium, which is a known anxiety-reducer. It transforms sadness into happiness. It has also been shown to assist with addictions.
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Malachite
Purity, Protection, Happiness
Malachite clears and activates the chakras and attunes to spiritual guidance. It opens the heart to unconditional love. Encourages risk-taking and change, breaks unwanted ties and outworn patterns, and teaches how to take responsibility for one’s actions, thoughts and feelings.
Onyx gives strength. It promotes vigor, steadfastness and stamina. Imparts self-confidence, helping you to be at ease in your surroundings. Onyx banishes grief, enhances self-control and stimulates the power of wise decision-making.
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Mookaite
Can help you to change your beliefs about the inevitability of aging and degeneration. It helps you to feel younger by raising your vibrations and changing your attitude to life and thoughts about aging.
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Moonstone
A stone for โnew beginningsโ, Moonstone is a stone of inner growth and strength. It soothes emotional instability and stress, and stabilises the emotions, providing calmness. Moonstone enhances intuition, promotes inspiration, success and good fortune in love and business matters.
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Morganite
A powerful, high vibrational, universal stone of unconditional love. A member of the Beryl family, and siblings of Emerald, Heliodor and Aquamarine, Morganite is the pink variety of Beryl. It helps to attract and maintain love. Morganite activates and cleanses the Heart Chakra, connecting to Divine Love.
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Moss Agate
It speeds up recovery from illness. It is anti-inflammatory, cleanses the circulatory and elimination systems, and boosts the immune system. It assists midwives by lessening pain and ensuring a good delivery. Moss Agate prevents hypoglycemia and dehydration, treats infections, colds and flu, and lowers fevers.
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Obsidian
Obsidian is truth-enhancing. A strongly protective stone, it forms a shield against negativity. It blocks psychic attack and absorbs negative energies from the environment. Obsidian draws out mental stress and tension.
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Opal
Harmony, Courage, Self-esteem
Encourages both freedom and independence. Opal enhances cosmic consciousness and induces psychic and mystical visions. It stimulates originality and creativity. Helps to release anger and claim self worth, aiding in accessing and expressing one’s true self.
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Pink Opal
It is excellent for children who have difficulty sleeping or tend to have nightmares. Pink opal healing properties have a gentle frequency that help to calm and soothe your emotional body, clearing and calming the heart to bring a sense of love, peace and hope.
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Peridot
Known as the stone of compassion, peridot is believed to bring good health, restful sleep and peace to relationships by balancing emotions and mind. This friendly bright green stone also has the uncanny ability to inspire eloquence and creativity; it also brings delight and good cheer.
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Purple Agate
Purple Agate promotes inner stability, composure, and maturity. Its warm, protective properties encourage security and self-confidence.
Red Jade
Vitality, Strength, Passion
It’s a powerful healing stone, and it will increase your good luck and good fortune. It will also strengthen your personal relationships. Red Jade also signifies peace and tranquility because it will eliminate the negative energies in your life.
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Red Jasper
This beautiful stone deepens and strengthens your connection to the earth, helping you to remove the stress in your body, ground your energy, and calm your mind. Red Jasper is connected to the sacral and root chakras. It helps in enhancing your vitality, stamina, and endurance.
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Red Tiger Eye
Insight, Confidence, Strength
A stone of protection, Tiger Eye may also bring good luck to the wearer. It has the power to focus the mind, promoting mental clarity, assisting us to resolve problems objectively and unclouded by emotions. Particularly useful for healing psychosomatic illnesses, dispelling fear and anxiety.
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Rose Gold
Health, Stability, Confidence
Rose Gold holds the energy of love, grace and elegance. It is intimate, loving, caring and compassionate. Wearing the colour Rose can induce calming effects.
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Rose Quartz
Love, Harmony, Positivity
Rose Quartz is the stone of universal love. It restores trust and harmony in relationships, encouraging unconditional love. Rose Quartz purifies and opens the heart at all levels to promote love, self-love, friendship, deep inner healing and feelings of peace.
Yet another heart chakra stone that increases blood circulation, Rose Quartz is a quintessential beauty stone.
When used on the mid-chakras, Rose Quartz also increases self-love and breaks distress hormones in the body.
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Ruby
Friendship, Love, Royalty
It has been associated with improved energy and concentration, creativity, loyalty, honor and compassion. Ruby is thought to be protective of home, possessions and family. Ruby is said to stimulate heart chakra and bring spiritual wisdom while shielding against psychic attacks.
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Sandstone
It brings courage, confidence and will power, clears the mind and relieves the pressure. If you want to improve your focus in life and to get rid of anxiety and pressure this is a stone for you.
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Sapphire
Wisdom, Concentration, Dreams
Protects from negative energy, attracts financial abundance, promotes mental clarity, evokes the feelings of devotion, strengthens integrity and intuition, clears depression, helps eyesight and bestows wisdom.
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Selenite
Selenite provides for clarity of the mind, expanding ones awareness of the self and of ones surroundings. It opens the crown and higher crown chakras and accesses angelic consciousness and higher guidance. It can be used to access past lives as well as future lives. Selenite is a calming stone that instils deep peace and is excellent for meditation or spiritual work. It assists judgement and insight. It clears confusion and aids in seeing the deeper picture.
Selenite aligns the spinal column and promotes flexibility. It corrects deformities of the skeletal system and can stabilise epileptic disorders. It is used to improve disorders associated with metal poisoning due to teeth fillings and can reverse the effects of “free radicals” in the cell structure. Effects that can be overcome include cancer, tumours, age spots, wrinkles and light sensitivity.
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Silver
Wealth, Prosperity, Emotion
Silver is the metal of emotions, of the psychic mind, and of loving as well as healing. It is used to bring patience and perseverance to the wearer. When silver is used with gemstones, the metal retains and amplifies the qualities emitted by the stones.
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Smoky Quartz
Endurance, Pride, Perception
It gently neutralises negative vibrations and is detoxifying on all levels, prompting elimination of the digestive system and protecting against radiation and electromagnetic smog. Smoky Quartz disperses fear, lifts depression and negativity. It brings emotional calmness, relieving stress and anxiety.
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Sodalite
It encourages rational thought, objectivity, truth and intuition, along with verbalisation of feelings. Sodalite brings emotional balance and calms panic attacks. It enhances self-esteem, self-acceptance and self-trust. Sodalite balances the metabolism, boosts the immune system and overcomes calcium deficiencies.
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Sun Stone
It clears and energises all the chakras. Sunstone instills good nature, heightens intuition and allows the real self to shine through happily. It dissipates fearfulness, alleviates stress and increases vitality. Encourages independence and originality.
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Tibetan Dzi Bead
Dzi beads are predominantly used for protection but the various markings on the beads can give them different properties. Some will specifically protect the user from accidents, some could attract love into your life and others can bring a comfortable life for the wearer.
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Titanium
Balance, Stability, Vitality
It helps in energising and enlivening all the chakras. So, by wearing one of these stones it can help to make us feel more grounded, centred and energised. It helps us to dispel sorrow, replacing it with joy by stimulating humour and relaxation.
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Turquoise
Balances and aligns all the chakras, stabilising mood swings and instilling inner calm. It is excellent for depression and exhaustion; it also has the power to prevent panic attacks. Turquoise promotes self-realisation and assists creative problem solving.
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UnakiteJasper
It brings together the abundant, nurturing energy of green with the soft, caring passion of pink in one of Nature’s most healing crystals of the heart and mind. It resonates with the frequency of love, compassion and kindness, and is a stone dedicated to balancing the emotional body.
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White Agate
It is also believed to improve concentration and analytical frames of mind, as well as releasing traumas and providing the courage to trust. For proponents of energy work and crystal healing, white agate is believed to be beneficial for mental issues, including everyday challenges such as frustration and anxiety.
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White Sea Pearl
Integrity, Innocence, Grace
They bring centering and a calming reflection, as well as attune the wearer to the ebb and flow of life. They are told to give purity, promote faith, charity and integrity, especially personal integrity. Due to its watery and lunar elements, it is quite balancing for the emotions, especially to water signs.
Sourced from an interesting article by Trevor Nace – Birthstones: Discover Your Birthstone Color By Month…
โBirthstones appear to have a biblical source, tracing back to the book of Exodus in the Bible and specifically on the breastplate of Aaron. The breastplate was inlaid with 12 gemstones that each represented the twelve tribes of Israel at the time. This specific breastplate was adorned with the following gems: emerald, sapphire, diamond, topaz, carbuncle, sardius, agate, ligure, amethyst, onyx, jasper, and beryl.
“There were twelve stones, one for each of the names of the sons of Israel, each engraved like a seal with the name of one of the twelve tribes.” (Exodus 28:17-20)
How did these breastplate gems turn into the birthstones we all know today? Stepping forward to the 1st and 5th century AD two scholars, Flavius Josephus and St. Jerome, are credited with associating the 12 breastplate gems with the 12 signs of the zodiac. Initially, the thinking was that each person would own all 12 birthstones and wear each gem on the corresponding month.โ
Needless to say I plan on increasing my repertoire as I progress through this journey of mine on healing. I will soon be introducing – Destressing with elements of honey, Vitamin E, Almond, Patchouli and other essential oils. Look out for that too!
Have a look at some of my healing jewelry collection below:
Mixed Crystals
Necklace Maximus – featuring 27 healing crystals by Chriselda Barretto
Garnet
Natural Garnet Gemstone Bracelet and Pendant by Chriselda Barretto
Malachite
Natural Malachite Gemstone Bracelet and Pendant by Chriselda Barretto
Lava Stone
Natural Lava Stone With Eye Of Protection Bead Bracelet by Chriselda Barretto
If you are interested in getting your own personalized necklace-bracelet-pendant-anklet-ring, please use the contact link below and I will send you details.
You could also personalize your jewelry by mixing different stones. Have a look at my portfolio here.
Disclaimer: The outlined metaphysical and healing properties in this website are for inspiration and reference. I gather this information and alleged properties from writings, books, folklore and various other sources. They are also dependent upon the attitude and beliefs of the individual. Furthermore they do not replace diagnosis or treatment by a qualified therapist or physician.
All of us react differently and have imaginative ways of doing things which is pretty similar to parenting as well. There is no best or worst way to deal with young, growing adults but sometimes experiences give you an unknown wisdom; a know-how which could help you and others in the long run. A single tried and tested way would probably not solve all problems because we are dealing with different characters, ages and circumstances. Being a single parent myself with kids aged from 5 to 14 and 17, I can assure you that I have had my share of ups and downs like so many parents out there! But looking back hindsight at certain situations, I have begun to understand that there are a few things that I could have been handled better, knowing what I know now!
It goes without saying that when a child is going through a temper tantrum, worse still when it happens to be in publicโฆthere you are stumped as a parent, probably feeling horrible and guilty, not to mention embarrassed with all the hot stares glaring at you, unmistakably giving you this feeling of being โThe worst parent with a terribly raised child!โ At these times, I concur that all bets are out of the window and you do what you can to survive, which might be dropping everything, to run out with your child or even bribing them with something just to get them to quieten down. Worst case scenarioโฆ (I hope nobody has to endeavour!) is when you feel the need to yellโฆwhich we know we shouldnโt and mustnโt have to resort to!
With that said, I am hoping these little tips I will be sharing may help you understand your kids better (if ever possible :)!), to cope/react better or to at least try with your dignity intact!
Understand that children get stressed too with circumstances around them that you might have over-looked! When both of you have cooled down…try to sit them down and ask them questions which might help you understand why they are behaving/feeling the way they are. This will not only calm them but also reassure them (and you), that you care and are looking out for them!
2. Use the famous โTime-Outโ if you need to
Make sure to make it age-appropriate; the general rule is one minute per year of your child’s age. So, a 2-year-old would get two minutes of time-out while a 5-year-old would get five minutes!
Create a time-out chair or space, such as the “thinking chair” or the “quiet zone.” Just make sure the area is neutral and boring, away from the distractions of other siblings, television, toys, or objects they could use to irritate you!
3. Grow with your child
There will always be the famous โGeneration gapโ, but you can help decrease it by keeping up with the times they are living in. I have sit downs and lots of casual chats with my eldest on the music he listens to and our favorite artists and the reasoning behind it. Agreed some of their music choices might sound very alien to you but hey we are trying to be part of the HIP crowd ;)! Try to find out more on the books, games, social mediaโฆ topics they and their friends are currently talking about. This also gives you an insight into what they are up to without being too inquisitive!
Like I explained before, kids these days are exposed to so much more around them then we ever were. Computers, smart phones, technology can get very tiring and cumbersome. Isnโt it tiring for you? So you understand why it could be for them as well! Give them some space to reflect, calm down, and just hang with nothing to do. As parents we love to encourage our children to do various extra-curricular activities; sports, music, dancing, hobbies, which is all fine and good, but that must be followed up with relaxation too. Hence some space to rewind wouldnโt hurt.
5. Encourage but donโt pushโฆ
Being quite ambitious myself, I have had a few scenarios where I have been cross with my kids because their scores werenโt top notch or sometimes because they didnโt score that goal that I thought was theirs for the take! Thankfully, I have realized that those werenโt the best approach and learnt to never make the mistake of projecting my wants onto them. Kids are sensitive but hardy and they know when something motivates them or when it doesnโt. Communication should be a 2-way street here and try to work/resolve it out together with them. Remember we are there to support and guide them along the way, throwing in loads of love and compassion!
6. Let them decide when they are fullโฆ
As a child I was pretty much forced to eat everything on my plate. I understand that this was because our parents were taught not to waste food and they told us about the horror stories of starving children to get us to eat up! This might be true but who is best to judge when one is full? We know when we are full and guess whatโฆso do your kids! Of course if they are not eating healthy or you suspect that they might be suffering from Bulimia, Anorexia or other eating disorders then you need to talk it out with them and maybe even consider seeking medical help.
7. Donโt โpunishโ but discipline them correctly with constant feedback
I always hated the word โpunishmentโ; I swear it felt like I was some prisoner being lead to the gallowsJ! On a serious note though, discipline your child in a rational way, which means talking to them with a more serious tone and body language and proceeding to enforce better rules for the next time. A part of disciplining them is also praising them for a job well done or simply noticing and rewarding them for at least giving it a try! โPraise works wondersโ and I can swear by this. Who doesnโt like receiving compliments or being recognised for a job well done?
8. Let them explain their situation
Kids will always get into trouble; we just hope that these might be little issues and not difficult ones! That is natureโs way of helping them grow, realise and learn from mistakes. Sure we are there to guide and advice along the way! When faced with such a situation, give them the chance to explain what happened and how they landed in that situation. Stand by them and support them in right or wrong, that was a given responsibility to you the day they were born! The least you can do is hear them out without already passing judgement!
9. Let them know how you feel
Open up to them and tell them how you feel. I communicate when I feel sad, or happy or even angry about certain situations. This creates a sort of bonding and you can be sure that this opens the door to them also communicating back to you when they need to. These emotional exchanges only serve to strengthen the relationship you share with your little one.
There is no need for it! Physical pain has and never will correct behaviour patterns. Kindness, compassion, love and good communication will however. They are your children, young adults deserving respect like each and every being on this planet does! If you ever reach that point where you think of resorting to it, let the alarm bells ring and step out of that situation. Go for a walk, let someone else temporarily talk to them, give them a time-outโฆanything till you can calm down and have some time to reflect on the situation at hand. Then go in with logic, common-sense and compassion and talk it through. The guilt of hitting or harming an innocent being is an impossible thing to bear and should never be condoned!
11. Even us-parents make mistakes
None of us are without fault; we are human and we can mistakes too. Let them know when you have made a mistake and apologise for it. Kids learn through example and doing. Set the correct wheel in motion!
12. Be you!
Remember the saying: โWe become our parentsโ…Well, keep that in mind and donโt forget to be you! Our parents had their ways of dealing with us, another generation, another mind-set! You are here, now, so live with your time and the person you have become.
13. Keep learning and growing as a parentโฆbecome your childโs โRole-Modelโ
I am still learning every day on how I can grow and be a better parent to my lovelies. They are tomorrowโs adults and I want to make sure I am / become the best role-model they will ever need. The way you live your life will reflect back on them. I ask them for advice too, and I involve them in conversations which might impact them. They need to feel responsibility and empathy, which stems from their involvement in your daily life. Encourage, love and support them and always keep growingโฆ