Breaking Down Narcissism

An Article by CHRISELDA B – Only @ chriselda.blog

“N” and me!

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I had heard of the term ‘narcissistic’ but never really felt its real meaning until recently. I was reading an article and it kind of got me all worked up! Why? Because it resonated with me on an innate level. I remember getting quite emotional and later…much later, when I kind of came to terms with it, I researched more on it and after a lot of self-search, analysis, and reflection I realised something that I hadn’t considered before!

I came to the realisation that I actually had loads of narcissistic people all around me, carefully hidden, all under the radar. It didn’t just start with most of my exes, but it carried on to the pretty much everyday people around me too. People who you would think were supposed to “be there“ for you; well-meaning or looking out for you, but in reality, were manipulators and totally narcissistic!

One only realises the term “narcissistic” after having experienced it personally!

If only I could have recognised the signs, I would have saved myself years of pain, guilt, …… Read the entire article

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Colour Chemistry

Colour Therapy – What is it?

Colour therapy, also called chromotherapy, is a method of treating ailments by using colours. It is also said to help bring balance and health to the mind and body. The vibrations of the colour improve your mood and overall health.

Colours can either stimulate or calm your senses. This therapy relies on the idea that colours create an electrical impulse in the brain, which can stimulate hormonal and biochemical processes in the body.

Colours and Chakras

On a spiritual note, each of the 7 Chakras are linked to the spectrum of light in a rainbow. Let’s explore this some more:

– The Root Chakra located at the base of the spine is represented by red. This base chakra has a grounding effect connecting us to Earth.

Red – Courage/Motivation/Passion/Love


– The Sacral Chakra, which is located 2 or 3 inches below the navel is represented by orange. This chakra is associated with sexuality, creativity, reproduction, kidneys, adrenals and pleasure.

Orange – Energy/Good vibes/Freedom/Ambition


– The Solar Plexus Chakra located between the navel and sternum is represented by yellow. It is associated with the liver, pancreas, digestive system, gallbladder, empowerment and well-being, influencing your wisdom and power.

Yellow – Clarity/Growth/Happiness/Focus


– The Heart Chakra associated with the heart, lungs, immune system, energy, nervous system, mental focus, compassion and empowerment influences love and healing. It is represented by green.

Green – Prosperity/Abundance/Luck/Health


– The Throat Chakra is associated with thyroid, metabolism and most importantly with communication. It is represented by blue.

Blue – Confidence/Loyalty/Success/Forgiveness/Creativity


– The Third Eye Chakra located between the eyebrows is represented by indigo. It is associated with the pituitary and pineal glands, influencing awareness, sleep cycles, clarity, wisdom, self-esteem and intuition.

Indigo – Vitality/Good health/Wealth


– The Crown Chakra located at the top of the head is represented by violet. It is associated with spirituality, clarity, dreams, pineal gland and light sensitivity.

Violet – Relaxation/Tranquility/Imagination

Take a look at the chart/guide below to summarise:


CHAKRAINFLUENCESCOLOURHELPS WITH
Crown  SpiritualityVioletRelaxation/Tranquillity/Imagination
Third eye  AwarenessIndigoVitality/Good health/Wealth
Throat  CommunicationBlueConfidence/Loyalty/Success/Forgiveness/ Creativity
Heart  Love/HealingGreenProsperity/Abundance/Luck/Health
Solar Plexus  Wisdom/PowerYellowClarity/Growth/Happiness/Focus
Sacral  Sexuality/CreativityOrangeEnergy/Good vibes/Freedom/Ambition
Root  Basic trustRedCourage/Motivation/Passion/Love

Colours and More

In addition to the Chakra colours, here are some more colours and what they symbolically represent:


Black – Stability/Protection/Mystery/Power/Elegance/Sophistication

White – Purity/Innocence/Freshness/Peace

Pink – Love/Harmony/Nurturing/Self-love

Light blue – Tranquility/Reliability/Forgiveness

Dark blue – Depth/Expertise/Stability

Colours and Skin Tones

Often we hear people say that a particular colour might not be “their” colour! This is mostly based on one’s skin tone where a colour might clash or contrastingly flatter you.

To narrow it down skin tones are characterized into 3 kinds: warm, cool and neutral.

– A warm skin tone merits from coral, honey, cream and olive.

– Cool skin tones work well with grey, lavender, blue and rose.

– Neutral skin tones love red, white, blue and jade.

Newness

But we also know that change is so important, especially to motivate us and brighten up our day. So dare to experiment with colour in your wardrobe :)! .

Crazily enough, there are a handful of colours that everyone can wear; like white, black, eggplant purple, teal and light-blush pink. Trying out new colours can be so fun and recommended. You might just surprise yourself when you try out something new and discover that it suits you; you feel good in it. For it is when you feel good, that you emanate confidence and that in turn makes you look picture perfect : “Immaculate!”.

There is a psychology to colour. Research says colour can absolutely affect your mood, behavior and stress levels. Pick a colour based on the mood you are already in, or pick a colour based on the mood you want to be in. Go on then, try them colours out!

“Remember colours can stimulate, calm, and shock, all dependant on the effect and feel you are looking for.”

Colours and my Candle Therapy

With this I would like to introduce you to my “CANDLE THERAPY” and my “CANDLES & CRYSTALS HEALING KITS”.

Using the colour guide above you can focus on the emotions or area of your personality you would like to enhance, light up the relevant (hand-engraved) coloured candle and watch them manifest.

I have hand engraved my candles using colour /chakra colour therapy with affirmations like health, protect, luck, peace, etc.. The candles are also lightly scented with either lavender, tea tree oil or green fields.

Discover my selection of healing candles by clicking on the links below.

CANDLES & CRYSTALS HEALING KITS : 1 Hand-engraved – Lavender/Tea Tree Oil/Green Fields scented candle following colour therapy + 1 Healing crystal bracelet

THE HEALING KIT : 2 Hand-engraved candles for protection and cleansing

CANDLE THERAPY : Hand-engraved – Lavender/Tea Tree Oil/Green Fields scented candles following Colour Therapy and Chakra Colour Symbolism

Find them here @ ‘chriselda.blog’

“To a better, brighter day and a more enlightened you!”


COLOUR CHEMISTRY – BY CHRISELDA BARRETTO

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My Upcoming Article – Colour Chemistry

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Read My Interview with Gerardo Korn

Interviewing Gerardo Korn

Gerardo Korn

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A lovely message from Gerardo Korn

Thanks Gerardo for this message 🙂

I love the sounds and the rustic, authentic feel around you!

BEAUTIFUL…

Check out my interview with him tomorrow on ‘chriselda.blog‘…’ARTICLES


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In interview with Gerardo Korn

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Read My latest Article – What’s Golden Milk?

Read Article 12 – What’s Golden Milk?

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Learn about ‘Golden Milk’ and all its benefits. I also share my simple recipe in this article. Enjoy!


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“13 GOOD-PARENTING TIPS” by Chriselda Barretto

All of us react differently and have imaginative ways of doing things which is pretty similar to parenting as well. There is no best or worst way to deal with young, growing adults but sometimes experiences give you an unknown wisdom; a know-how which could help you and others in the long run. A single tried and tested way would probably not solve all problems because we are dealing with different characters, ages and circumstances. Being a single parent myself with kids aged from 5 to 14 and 17, I can assure you that I have had my share of ups and downs like so many parents out there! But looking back hindsight at certain situations, I have begun to understand that there are a few things that I could have been handled better, knowing what I know now!

It goes without saying that when a child is going through a temper tantrum, worse still when it happens to be in public…there you are stumped as a parent, probably feeling horrible and guilty, not to mention embarrassed with all the hot stares glaring at you, unmistakably giving you this feeling of being “The worst parent with a terribly raised child!” At these times, I concur that all bets are out of the window and you do what you can to survive, which might be dropping everything, to run out with your child or even bribing them with something just to get them to quieten down. Worst case scenario… (I hope nobody has to endeavour!) is when you feel the need to yell…which we know we shouldn’t and mustn’t have to resort to!

With that said, I am hoping these little tips I will be sharing may help you understand your kids better (if ever possible :)!), to cope/react better or to at least try with your dignity intact!

Photo by Paweł L. on Pexels.com

So here goes:

  1. Put yourself in your child’s shoes

Understand that children get stressed too with circumstances around them that you might have over-looked! When both of you have cooled down…try to sit them down and ask them questions which might help you understand why they are behaving/feeling the way they are. This will not only calm them but also reassure them (and you), that you care and are looking out for them!

2. Use the famous “Time-Out” if you need to

Make sure to make it age-appropriate; the general rule is one minute per year of your child’s age. So, a 2-year-old would get two minutes of time-out while a 5-year-old would get five minutes!

 Create a time-out chair or space, such as the “thinking chair” or the “quiet zone.” Just make sure the area is neutral and boring, away from the distractions of other siblings, television, toys, or objects they could use to irritate you!

3. Grow with your child

There will always be the famous “Generation gap”, but you can help decrease it by keeping up with the times they are living in. I have sit downs and lots of casual chats with my eldest on the music he listens to and our favorite artists and the reasoning behind it. Agreed some of their music choices might sound very alien to you but hey we are trying to be part of the HIP crowd ;)! Try to find out more on the books, games, social media… topics they and their friends are currently talking about. This also gives you an insight into what they are up to without being too inquisitive!

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4. They need some space too

Like I explained before, kids these days are exposed to so much more around them then we ever were. Computers, smart phones, technology can get very tiring and cumbersome. Isn’t it tiring for you? So you understand why it could be for them as well! Give them some space to reflect, calm down, and just hang with nothing to do. As parents we love to encourage our children to do various extra-curricular activities; sports, music, dancing, hobbies, which is all fine and good, but that must be followed up with relaxation too. Hence some space to rewind wouldn’t hurt.

5. Encourage but don’t push…

Being quite ambitious myself, I have had a few scenarios where I have been cross with my kids because their scores weren’t top notch or sometimes because they didn’t score that goal that I thought was theirs for the take! Thankfully, I have realized that those weren’t the best approach and learnt to never make the mistake of projecting my wants onto them. Kids are sensitive but hardy and they know when something motivates them or when it doesn’t. Communication should be a 2-way street here and try to work/resolve it out together with them. Remember we are there to support and guide them along the way, throwing in loads of love and compassion!

6. Let them decide when they are full…

As a child I was pretty much forced to eat everything on my plate. I understand that this was because our parents were taught not to waste food and they told us about the horror stories of starving children to get us to eat up! This might be true but who is best to judge when one is full? We know when we are full and guess what…so do your kids! Of course if they are not eating healthy or you suspect that they might be suffering from Bulimia, Anorexia or other eating disorders then you need to talk it out with them and maybe even consider seeking medical help.

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7. Don’t “punish” but discipline them correctly with constant feedback

I always hated the word “punishment”; I swear it felt like I was some prisoner being lead to the gallowsJ! On a serious note though, discipline your child in a rational way, which means talking to them with a more serious tone and body language and proceeding to enforce better rules for the next time. A part of disciplining them is also praising them for a job well done or simply noticing and rewarding them for at least giving it a try! “Praise works wonders” and I can swear by this. Who doesn’t like receiving compliments or being recognised for a job well done?

8. Let them explain their situation

Kids will always get into trouble; we just hope that these might be little issues and not difficult ones! That is nature’s way of helping them grow, realise and learn from mistakes. Sure we are there to guide and advice along the way! When faced with such a situation, give them the chance to explain what happened and how they landed in that situation. Stand by them and support them in right or wrong, that was a given responsibility to you the day they were born! The least you can do is hear them out without already passing judgement!

9. Let them know how you feel

Open up to them and tell them how you feel. I communicate when I feel sad, or happy or even angry about certain situations. This creates a sort of bonding and you can be sure that this opens the door to them also communicating back to you when they need to. These emotional exchanges only serve to strengthen the relationship you share with your little one.

Photo by Sippakorn Yamkasikorn on Pexels.com

10. Never raise your hand

There is no need for it! Physical pain has and never will correct behaviour patterns. Kindness, compassion, love and good communication will however. They are your children, young adults deserving respect like each and every being on this planet does! If you ever reach that point where you think of resorting to it, let the alarm bells ring and step out of that situation. Go for a walk, let someone else temporarily talk to them, give them a time-out…anything till you can calm down and have some time to reflect on the situation at hand. Then go in with logic, common-sense and compassion and talk it through. The guilt of hitting or harming an innocent being is an impossible thing to bear and should never be condoned!

11. Even us-parents make mistakes

None of us are without fault; we are human and we can mistakes too. Let them know when you have made a mistake and apologise for it. Kids learn through example and doing. Set the correct wheel in motion!

12. Be you!

Remember the saying: “We become our parents”…Well, keep that in mind and don’t forget to be you! Our parents had their ways of dealing with us, another generation, another mind-set! You are here, now, so live with your time and the person you have become.

13. Keep learning and growing as a parent…become your child’s “Role-Model

I am still learning every day on how I can grow and be a better parent to my lovelies. They are tomorrow’s adults and I want to make sure I am / become the best role-model they will ever need. The way you live your life will reflect back on them. I ask them for advice too, and I involve them in conversations which might impact them. They need to feel responsibility and empathy, which stems from their involvement in your daily life. Encourage, love and support them and always keep growing…

BY CHRISELDA BARRETTO

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Interview with Laurence Koutny – Founder of ‘Art of Chocolate’ & Winner of 2013 Belgian Business Manager Trends Woman Award

Laurence Koutny – Founder of ‘Art of Chocolate’ & Winner of 2013 Belgian Business Manager Trends Woman award

Hello Laurence, it is such a pleasure and honour to have you speak with me today! You have over 17 years in the chocolate industry…Truly amazing! Could you tell us some more about you, the woman behind all this knowledge and experience?

Hello, nice to meet you. Indeed, I am passionate about chocolate. As a kid, I was a fan of my Cote d’Or, as a student I started to discover the world of the candy-bar, when I finished my university, what a dream……Mars employed me on the campus. I worked there for 3 years understanding the world of multinationals and chocolate.

I then moved to Levi’s and travelled a lot. After years, my passion for chocolate came back and I got the dream job @ Godiva Chocolates. I was in charge of Marketing, the Retail design and then the entire innovation internationally.

I realised how much the Belgian savoir-faire was highly respected and recognised around the world. I then thought about how important it was to continue to claim our savoir-faire.

Your experience is overwhelming considering the various fields you have worked in, to mention a few: Accessory, Fashion, Sport, Education….Which one of these fields spoke to you the most and why?

I love fashion as it’s a continuous innovation process. You need to reinvent all the time and make people feel good in what they wear.

I love sport as it’s a must to live and to feel good and more importantly experience nature.

I love chocolate as it’s the best indulgence in life and then finally what’s best to pass legacy and educate people on what you love.

Which project has been the most difficult for you in your entire career?

On the 30 years of my career, there have been several.

Probably, the most recent one was the celebration of the 90th anniversary of Godiva in February 2016, where I organised an event with 150 journalists from all around the world. This event happened between the terrorist attack in Paris in November 2015 and the one in March 2016 in Brussels.

The level of stress was very high at our event, with everybody thinking that an attack might occur while we organised a week of events for these very important journalists.

You also were the winner of the 2013 Belgian Business Manager Trends Woman Award! That is a prestigious title to have! What were your feelings when they announced you as the winner?

I felt so thrilled as I had no idea I would win. It was a tough process to get there but when they call you on stage, I felt so proud……..amazing experience!

You are the founder of “Art of Chocolate”. Tell us about your journey in getting this huge project started?

It was a natural journey…after 17 years in chocolate, passionate about it, convinced that we have major talents in Belgium on the matter, I thought it was a must to share this savoir-faire worldwide.

I talked about my academy with highly respected people in the industry, to teach everything about chocolate from the bean to the consumer experience, to buying chocolate. They followed me on my thinking and supported me in the adventure.

Has “Chocolate” changed your life, because I know that the masterclasses you offer, do train and change other people’s lives?

Yes it did. I saw so many things in life but the most amazing thing is to see every smile on each face when people taste chocolate, not only chocolate but good chocolate. The nice thing is to keep contact with the participants after they pass by our masterclasses and see how they applied their learning.

One opened a chocolate shop in Ghana, another one launched a food truck ‘bean to bar’, and another one re-merchandised his entire store….so many nice stories!

I am so curious together with all my readers, to know more about your masterclasses. Could you tell us some more on that?

In the heart of Brussels, ‘Art of Chocolate’ delivers dynamic masterclasses aimed at chocolatiers, chocolate entrepreneurs, chocolate professionals in any field or anyone with a passion for chocolate from anywhere in the world, and interested in learning from the best to take their chocolate skills to a new level.

The philosophy is to cover all the steps from the bean to the consumer experience and cover the entire chain.

Our interactive masterclasses are centred around the following themes:

  • The chocolate making process for starting chocolatiers
  • Advanced chocolate making – Bean to bar
  • Sensory – Creating innovative, premium products
  • Building a successful chocolate business through developing rich customer experience

Please share with us some of your expertise in building a strong, coherent team and its impact on one’s business!

People are the base of everything if you want to succeed in business! It is crucial to have people with the same passion, respect and vision. With “Art of Chocolate”, I only met fully passioned, talented people who are ready to share their knowledge with others.

Everybody respects each other for their competency and the way they complement each other towards one same goal to train about the Belgian chocolate savoir-faire.

I replicated a recipe that I used during the last 30 years with the large numbers of teams I have had to manage.

Have there been other role-models that you have looked up to, or that have influenced you in some way?

There have been many people who had a real impact on my life. From a famous side, it goes from Mandela to Madonna to MèreThérésa (Mother Teresa) to Arétha Franklin to Simone Veil to Jorge Donn to Stromae to finally some amazing chocolatiers such as Laurent Gerbaud, Pierre Marcolini, Jean-Christophe Hubert from Milenisme, Patrick Roger, Stephane Leroux  and many others for their beliefs and passion!

Then on my career side, with 23 different bosses, you have some who really show you the paths and those who you really don’t want to be like, and you learn a lot from that too.

What is your advice to young entrepreneurs?

I wouldn’t say enough, have the passion for what you do, believe in what you do with concrete facts to validate your idea and be honest to admit the skills you miss and surround yourself with others who have those skills, to allow you to shine in your best qualities.

You must have a very busy schedule. What does a normal workday look like to you?

After a good breakfast….. it goes from managing the social network to recruiting participants; having to contact them to understand their real motivation. To develop new courses with teachers and to meet people for consultancy jobs, to organise sessions and prepare all the material.

Days go fast…..I constantly meet new fascinating people with the same passion for food and more especially for Chocolate.

The other day, I met an incredibly passionate ‘perfume’ guy, who was developing the best perfumes you would have never smelled before, in his garage in Brussels .

What do you do in your free time, and how do you manage to make time for it?

After having been in corporation for 30 years moving to Independent is a challenge! I want to be outside all the time but so much to do ……..I spend time with my 2 kids (or they do with me as they become older😊) and party with my friends.

I walk a lot, bike a lot , play golf and travel when I can to discover new things.

What is next for you…your next big project?

I have seven sessions to organise from now till end October. 3 very exciting confidential consulting missions in the chocolate business and I am preparing the whole schedule for 2020 with new, exciting modules.

How can my readers contact you, find your work?

The best way is to visit our website: www.artofchocolate.be or contact me at laurence@artofchocolate.be

BY CHRISELDA BARRETTO

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Quirkiest Kitchen Gadgets – 2019

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So, are you a gadget lover like me ;)? I can never get enough of trying out new technology to see if it actually works! I must say that the items listed below are my “Quirkiest” gadgets, which you might want but not necessarily need… Having said that, they do look good on your counter-top or your kitchen-island and ‘yes‘ they do work! So have a look and see if any of these were ‘missing’ from your daily ife and just have fun with it!

Play and Freeze, Ice Cream Ball- Ice Cream Maker

So at the “Numéro un” spot, I have the ‘Play and Freeze Ice-Cream Ball‘. You might ask why? Well, here are some of the reasons why this cute ball adds some liveliness to a very dull kitchen:

  • It makes ice cream in approximately 30 minutes
  • Manual, no electricity required
  • Polycarbonate construction for durability
  • Makes 1 pint
  • Provides a hands-on experience to studying the properties of movement, freezing, and basic science principles

Nostalgia Retro Pop-Up Hot Dog Toaster

I love ‘Retro’ stuff and guess what…it’s IN right now! If you are a big “Hot-Dog” fan, then this one is all for you. It also comes in an “Aqua” shade which is just as adorable. A real ‘show-stealer‘! Some more reasons to indulge in this cute, nostalgic toaster:

  • Cooks two regular-size or extra-plump hot dogs at a time
  • Toasts two buns at a time
  • Adjustable cooking timer and stop cooking button
  • Removable hot dog cage
  • Includes mini tongs for removing hot dogs
  • Drip tray for easy cleaning

Kuhn Rikon Kochblume Spill Stopper

Haven’t we all been through stuff spilling over, which we just hate! I am famous for letting milk spill, especially when I try my hand at making some “Indian Chai!” But, now that’s a thing of the past :), with this ‘Spill Stopper‘. I think this is really handy to have in the kitchen and it comes in an array of different colours! Some more reasons why you could consider this:

  • Designed to prevent spills from frying pans etc.
  • Acts as a lid
  • Keeps hobs/stoves clean
  • Premium quality
  • Easy to clean

Personalized Wooden Cookie Decorating Stamp

Another adorable little personalised item! Imagine decorating your cookies with your logo or you name, or whatsoever you see fit! This one will get your guests talking about it for sure, not to mention talking about how tasty those cookies you served them are! Some more details on this product:

  • Personalized embossing cookie stamp, embossing rolling pin alternative
  • For one stamp
  • Made from solid beech wood
  • The stamp measures 2” in diameter, 5” tall including the handle
  • The stamp is to be cleaned dry with a brush, then washed with cold water and dryed before the next using
  • Cookie stamps can be customized with an image of your choice, your name, logo etc.

KLEMOO Meat Tenderizer

Love this one! It turns your cheap cuts into succulent, mouth-watering steaks. 48 needles, crafted of stainless steel, plunge down into your cuts and tenderize every impact area all at the same time. Handy buy which lasts a lifetime. Go for this one! Some more details:

  • Razor Sharp Knife Blades – with 48 ultra sharp stainless steel blades
  • Reduces Marinade & Cooking Time
  • Maximizes Meat’s Tenderness & Flavor
  • For Chicken, Steak, Beef, Pork, Fish
  • Easy to Use & Control – Ergonomic design with a comfortable, non-slip handle
  • Easy Clean up
  • Dishwasher safe
  • Comes with a clear protective plastic cover for safe storage and keeping your tenderizer sanitary

The Rollie Egg Cooker

The Rollie is an electric egg cooker that basically makes tube-shaped omelettes. Just beat your eggs, drop them in the Rollie, turn it on, and you’ll have perfectly shaped eggs for your next breakfast burrito!

  • Revolutionary cooking system lets you enjoy egg treats like never before
  • Prepare eggs, omelets, frittatas and more in just 2 easy steps
  • Unique, patented design cooks healthy and delicious eggs without the use of pots or pans
  • Easy to use and clean with a durable non-stick cooking chamber
  • Each unit comes with a cleaning brush, 5 wooden skewers, food packaging accessory, and a user manual with 25 recipes

The Selfie Toaster

Hehe! A hilarious gift idea. Imagine surprising your guest with their face on the toast you are serving them… A selfie on a fresh piece of toast. An apt gadget for a selfie generation !

Crepe/Pancake/Galette maker

I have one of these and I love it! You can make sweet and savory pancakes/galettes/crepes, anything you fancy! You can really be creative with this one and the kids love it! A good investment!

  • PERFECT 12“ CREPES EVERY TIME
  • The non-stick aluminum surface provides easy perfectly cooked crepes every time.
  • PRECISE TEMPERATURE CONTROL
  • In addition to crepes ,blintzes, jianbing, and dosa, the G&M Kitchen Essentials Professional Crepe maker can also be used as a griddle
  • Cooks a variety of breakfast foods like pancakes, eggs, bacon, tortillas, injera, roti…
  • 100 RECIPE COOKBOOK, BATTER SPREADER AND WOODEN SPATULA
  • The small design makes storage simple and travel friendly. Compact and lightweight, the crepe maker is a perfect holiday kitchen gift.

So there you have my “Quirkiest Kitchen Gadgets” for 2019. Follow my blog for updates on products and more of my ‘Top Lists’. See you around!

BY CHRISELDA BARRETTO

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